I have been finding ways to live life loved through books and new experiences despite what I think and feel. I’m not denying myself the freedom to think or feel a certain way; I know me and sometimes my thoughts and feelings hold me captive. I need a new thought or feeling to supersede my current one. Life is hard enough to face the demands of the day to stay stuck in this swell of emotion.
I think one thing and feel another. Why can’t I let IT go? I’m still wrestling over this? A friend recommended a book to read about my unbalanced thoughts and feelings. I downloaded the audiobook “Uninvited” by Lysa TerKeurst. I am finding great truths to help me re-fuel my life. I crave relationships, friendships that are genuine and sincere. (Who doesn’t?)
I care too much. I love with all my heart. I give more than I receive. And painful words and insincere actions hurt me deeper than I’d like to admit. Yes, I know it may be me overreacting or being sensitive, but it’s how I’m wired. It pains me to the core when I am neglected or misunderstood. Happiness in, negativity out. Drama finds a way to rattle me…”Don’t dwell on it,” I tell myself as I try to let it go.
One quote in Lysa’s book has stuck with me, “Proximity and activity don’t always equal connectivity.” If I want to have genuine relationships, I might have to make steps toward it. I cannot expect people to be a mind reader or know I miss talking with them. So where do I begin? A confidant encouraged me with this thought, “It is in the conversations with other people, I can distract myself from what is wrestling on the inside.” I am reaching out to people one on one. I ask for their phone number and text them. Or make an effort to talk to them on social media and off. I un-followed a bunch a people on social media and have been filtering my life.
I know life is busy. We all have jobs, commitments, our families and own down time much less think of a friend outside our daily demands. It’s exhausting to nurture relationships that don’t get nurtured in return. I try not to have any preconceived expectations about receiving a response back. But guess what? I am getting favorable responses in return! I want each person to know I thought of them and go on with my day. If I get a message back, it’s a blessing, and if I don’t, then my good thoughts and feelings toward him or her remain the same.
Pushing though our thoughts and feelings to live life, loved is not easy. If you are struggling with this concept, I am right there with you! Connect with me on Twitter and we can help each other as we learn together.