Thirty two days ago was my last post. Rereading how excited I was looking forward the next 21 days of my life makes me wish I was more prepared for days like today. I woke up today angry from the day before. I overslept and had less time to get the important things done. Instead of letting my emotions control my day, I fought through them and found myself spending time alone with God. I prayed to Him about my anger and wished He would just take it away. Instead of taking it away, He wanted me to show me how I can learn from it.
How can I possibly enjoy or learn from not feeling joyful like I normally am? “If you don’t have something nice to say, then don’t say nothing at all” was playing in my head as I continued with what was on the agenda for today. The phrase continued to play over and over in my head as I silenced myself when I was with others. Surprisingly, no one seemed to notice how frustrated I was ranging on the inside. Instead I listened to how the day of everyone around me was going.
“I’m feeling lazy…”
“Today is a good day for the beach…”
“I want this month to be over…”
“I feel God moving in this area of my life…”
“Thank you for talking with me…”
“It was good to see you again…”
I heard it all and soaked it all in. Instead of focusing on my issue of being angry and upset, I discovered others just want to be heard. The Lord gently told me,
“This is preparation for the journey I will be taking you on.”
Some days I know it is not all about me. Days like today feels like I was fighting against the current. Instead of fighting and whining against the current, I paddled through the struggles and know my journey continues. Am I going to make it to the other side? Eventually. When will I know it will all work out? Soon. All this gives me hope knowing that each day is preparation for the journey that I choose to live.
How are you preparing for the journey of your life?